I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
