Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
