and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
