So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
