There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize