He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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