you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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