Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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