I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
