you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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