I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
