Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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