How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I can't turn off my feet"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
