Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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