My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize