I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize