How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
