Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
