Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
