How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
