I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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