Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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