He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
