My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
A+ Viking dick
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
