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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
