dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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