You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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