id be glad to
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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