I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
