I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
