He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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