My friends, they love my intelligence
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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