Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize