This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
