Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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