We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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