this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
