3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
two words: eviction party
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize