Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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