dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize