college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am one with the molecules
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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