.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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