Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize