I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize