God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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