In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
