Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
