My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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