Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
