there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
