There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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