pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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