I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize