If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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