Is it because I queefed?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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