awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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