fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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