Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
