you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
