her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
