I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize