I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
