how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
