I can text with my tongue
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize