god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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