She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
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And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
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i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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