Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
