So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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