There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize