New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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