1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
